I like this poster!
There is no way to describe the feeling of somebody getting just what they deserve!
I got out on the water yesterday, and the weather was perfect! Bright blue skies, no wind, and the temperature rose to 25; which is pretty warm. The day before, the temperature never rose above 10 degrees. The wind was howling, so it felt much colder. It was -22 when I woke up.
I was excited just to be fishing! It felt like forever since I'd been out, and in all reality, it had been the longest stint of not fishing I can remember. I hit the water and rigged up. I fished for a little bit, but couldn't get the fish dialed in. I knew there would be a midge hatch with the sun shining on the water. Sure enough, cream midges about size 22 (which is tiny) started fluttering around the surface. I knew the fish would be keyed in on these little guys, so I switched to a pulsating emerger (which I brought from NC, deadly on two sides of the country). I quickly nailed one, but couldn't get another fish to look at it.
About this time, two bumbling idiots came shuffling down to the edge of the water, opposite the bank I was fishing. I know what happened. They saw my license plate, they were parked right next to me, and decided an out of stater didn't deserve fishing "their" water. I've seen and heard of this happening out here before. So, these two assholes stare me down and literally JUMP in the water right where I was making my drifts. They then proceeded to slog up the river, right through the water I was going to be fishing. Needless to say, I had a few choice words for them, although I didn't let them know it bothered me.
I heard these two guys saying things like, "Oh man, look at all the little green bugs!"
They could not have sounded more unintelligent fishing wise, but they still had their pretentious heir about them. These "little green bugs" were actually tiny cream midges. I will give them the benefit of the doubt though, I had to actually catch one before I knew exactly what color they were.
With the two assholes upstream and with their back turned to me, they didn't see what I knew was about to happen. I'd seen this happen before on a day just like yesterday. The fish started rising to the midges that were now on top of the water. There were a few rising in the run, but most of the action was taking place in the shallow tail-out. This was the water the assholes passed up. I just so happened to have the perfect fly, another transplant from NC, a cream midge dry size 22.
I slowly slinked downstream and started casting to the rising fish. It's tough enough to see a size 22 dry fly from the start, but throw in a deadly glare, and it's downright impossible. I just had to set the hook when a fish rose in the vicinity of my fly. I'm pretty in tune with my casting and know pretty much where my fly is, but I have to admit I set the hook on a few ghost fish! Anyways, I soon hooked into the first fish. It was a decent sized brown. I made sure to let out a little whoop to get the two asshole's attention.
They hadn't caught a fish.
The action was hot and heavy for about an hour and a half. I ended up landing 18 fish, and missed a few more. All the while, the assholes were fish-less and left scratching their heads.
The bite slowed considerably until there were no fish rising at all. About this time, asshole 1 and 2 came trudging down the bank towards me. I made it a point to wade over to the bank they were coming down.
They then asked me an awesome question, "May we fish here now?".
My response was, "Sure, but I've already caught all the fish!"
Then a stupid question, "Did you drive up from Denver?"
Mustering the most southern accent I could, I responded, "Naw, I'm from South Carolina. And I just schooled y'all up on your own water!"
I turned and walked away. I felt a little bad for sounding like a jerk, but I didn't really. I remembered what they did and how they acted, and the whole scene seemed a perfect way to justify their actions.
Karma's a BITCH.
I didn't take pictures of all the fish, just the nicer ones. I also ended up catching one more downstream on a size 20 flashback baetis. Nobody saw me catch that fish, and I'm cool with that. My appetite for revenge has been filled for a while!
This is a picture of asshole 1
Stay Tuned Folks,